Outreach?

Nicole & I went out with the church group led by Gail on monday morning. We met & organised the clothes we were going to distribute. Our first stop was Devon House. It was soooo good!!! I can't believe that street people were so articulate! I must confess that I had a stereotype of street people in my head but it was DESTROYED that day. The men were so grateful and it wasn't feigned either. YUou could see it in their eyes. After distributing the clothes, we spent time talking with them & bought them some KFC chicken. It was good fellowship so when we prayed together with them, it felt natural. I was so blessed while I was blessing. God is great!
We then went to Dominica Drive where we again distributed some more clothes. The same response was received & it was another place to be blessed.. We then rested & ate. Recapping the day at that point, we had to confess our sins to each other in order for God to allow us to continue our day. It was very fulfilling since I found out a lot of things about myself which only served to get me humbler. We continued to the gully beside Victoria Mutual Wealth Management & gave out some more clothing to some ladies. It was so cold that I really empathized with their condition. We prayed together (the group only this time) & then left. WE spent some time fellowshipping afterward which also enhanced our unity. Thanks God for the experience.

The Cantata

Seemed ok. I wasn't interested in it much but I attended anyway since Janeze & others were in there. The singing was topnotch. The dancing was a bit good (Adrian was actually dancing!), & the effects was well done. The church was packed (as usual) and the delivery was great. I loved the song selection too. This church is so blessed. Just need to worship God more & things would be better...

Jhenelle's Party

It was sunday night. We arrived about 9. Left the kids there. Went over Nicole's house for a family gathering. Spent couple hours there. Returned to the party. saw my kids having a good time dancing to secular tunes with abandon. was a bit hurt that they were listening to songs that glorified satan but they are young & ignorant right now. the music at the party was disappointing though as spiritual content was jettisoned in favour of rhythm. but then, not my party, huh? a lot of people attended & in other respects it was a great party. Jhenelle was very cute that night & was in a good mood too. definitely a good thing! Spent quality time with nicole who was wearing "that" dress. long story on that though. later. Thanks Jhenelle & family for inviting me. everything but the music was great.

Sunday School Teacher?

I was asked to volunteer to be a Sunday School Teacher. Got me thinking. I'm a bit excited at the prospect of a new challenge but at the same time humbled that God actually allowed them to ask me. I'm not the best christian in the world but God keeps trusting me with His children. Thanks God. It means a lot to me. It seems the need is there for a boys' class. I'll be praying about it though. Later.

Website & Calendar

I'm working on a website for the kids. I'm learning to use frontpage & all the other applications I'll need. It's a great project to start on. I hop to finish it & getting it up & running by 2006. It's that huge for me. We'll see what God allows us to accomplish. The calendar was printed. It's ugly to me. Need to get it redesigned. Hope we can do it by this week.

Christmas Day

I am taking it easy this day. No work. Trying to think about God today but it's a bit difficult. Went to church this morning. It started 5am! Who wakes up that early to go to church! Oh well. I reached there about 6:45am. THe sermon was ok but I've heard better. Come to think of it, I need to start coming to church earlier. If when I'm going to work or school, I wake up early then I should be able to wake up early to spend time with the God that provides me access to both, don't you think? Just thinking. Later.

My Church

Glad Tidings Open Bible Church. 1 Ebanks Avenue. We actually have a website too. You can reach it by clicking your mouse here . It needs to be updated though. It's a very lively church. Lots of young, cute people. Fun to hang out with. They are cool too. Not the stereotypical christians. Good thing. "God over religion" is my motto. If you are ever in Spnish Town, St. Catherine, Jamiaca. West Indies, you can drop by on Sundays anytime. People ALWAYS there. Later.

These are my students the morning after the social. Sorry guys, no time for breakfast.

Nicole looking even better since Christmas breeze start blow. Is it the temperature or my eyes seeing more now? My future wife (it seems).

The Social

In attendance was Akeame, Adrian, Maurice, Troy, Oneil, Leevando, Hagos, Janeze, Jerdine, Ronica, Tanesha. We started about 11pm with prayer, Tanesha led praise & worship. We then watched the slideshow, decided on the calendar design, played need for speed. Everyone was loosening up and Mrs. Bailey made an appearance. It was fun especially the pictures. The class started sleeping by 3am. Some were stubborn but I made sure I stayed awake long enough to make sure no-one could try anything naughty. We voted in Maurice as group leader again. Ronica is girls' representative now. Absent were Kimberly, Stephen, Shana, Kerron. We left Adrian's house about 6am.

My wish-list for the class next year.

1. Adrian - He becomes a member.
2. Maurice - He becomes a member
3. Troy - He gets filled with the Holy Spirit in a massive way.
4. Akeame - He gets filled with the Spirit.
5. Oneil - He stops being double-minded in his spiritual life.
6. Kerron - He will continue on the present road.
7. Hagos - He will want responsibility.
8. Stephen - He will learn time-management & prioritizing in his life.
9. Leevando - He will start walking his talk.
10. Janeze - She will stop the unnecessary arguments/whining.
11. Jerdine - She will be more reliable with her promises.
12. Kimberly - She will stop looking for favouritism at every opportunity.
13. Shana - She isn't a problem to me now. Doesn't matter to me anymore.
14. Ronica - She will witness about her God to her friends.
15. Tanesha - She will not allow a certain guy to affect her church responsibilities.

Masturbation II

Now we all know masturbation is a pleasurable activity that is frowned upon by society publicly even though privately most of us do/have done it. Hypocrisy. Reminds me of oral sex. Lots of people do it but they deny it in public. Mind you, Both are wrong. Masturbation is a sin. Oral sex is not to be done outside of marriage. Those are my views. I love sexual pleasure but I know I need to wait till marriage & I do try to focus on the race that God has set for me. I slip sometimes but I know I will learn soon. Masturbation is so addictive. so addictive. Did I mention so addictive? Well it is. How do we stop? Simple solution? No. Refocus on God's Word. We have time to masturbate when we lose sight of God's Will for our lives. As christians, we need to read the Bible more, pray more & follow the world less. This is a sex-crazed world. The urge to have sex is almost irresistable. Almost. But we are overcomers. God has said we can overcome "by the blood of the Lamb & our testimony." We need to believe that as saints of the living God. Guilt from masturbation is awful but remember that "in Christ there is no condemnation." No need to dwell on your failures. Instead, focus on the future. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. ACt on that knowledge. I hope I've helped you (even a little) in trying to stop masturbation. More another time. Later.

Church Politics

I think the church is ruled by feelings rather than by God's Will. Think about it. Even if God says x, if the elders & pastor don't FEEL like it, they won't do it (usually). The vast majority of pastors seem to be wimps who judge success by congregation size & cash flow not by God's favour. I realize also that most christians don't seem to realize that we shouldn't approach church politics like the secularists who conduct smear campaigns & bribery, etc. Oh well, God's people are an embarassment. I don't like church. I hate the gossiping, the lethargy, the lack of vision & the spiritual laziness. But still I go. Why? Because god says I must "fellowship with the saints". He also said "obedience is better than sacrifice." So I try to suffer the ignorance of these fools & the pomposity/haughtiness of the pharisees. I hope I die soon. Tired of this crap. Later.

God is good!!!

Need I say more?

May I start vacation now?

I think all loose ends are wrapped up. Calendar set up, Adrian in charge of the party, Class roster confirmed for January, No girl pregnant, No boy homeless...it's indeed gonna be a good month. I can focus on preparing myself for church office. Hope I'm worthy. God, please allow me to get THAt post. I like it. You are sovereign Lord so I ask YOU for it. In Jesus' name I pray. Later.

Appeals

Leevando & Shana return. They were voted in the group after being expelled. Giving them the chance. We'll see when they cross the line of discipline again. Later.

Duty

I think I'm too impersonal. I do almost everything out of duty not feeling or urges. I need to be more loving though. Thinking of taking a vacation from people though, recharge, then return fresh & loving. Wonder if that would work? I'm confused. Later.

Evaluations

My kids are rather interesting. Guess they are hinting at some of my personality defects. I plan to change significantly for next year. Hope to do so. Want them to do so too. Need to start praying for them. I'm actually getting to love them now. Scary. God seems to be making me dependent on them. I HATE that. we'll see what He's up to though. God is so incredibly smart and I'm learning to trust His decisions. The evaluations are a wakeup call though. Sorry that Shana & Lee didn't respect me enough to do them though. Later.

Frustrated

I want a job. I actually seem to be getting browner. Plus I may get rusty where my skills are concerned. God please allow MCS to call me soon. I just need to make some money to clear my debts. I'm trying to trust God though. Can't afford to worry cause that is sin. Maybe He's testing me to see if I will stand. Maybe. Sometimes I wonder if He cares about my pain. But though I be slain, yet will I trust in Him. Just hard though. What doesn't kill you, fattens you. Later.

Evaluation from Stephen

This is Stephen's narrative:

"Dealing with teens is a difficult, aching task to accomplish. But Melville Lumley has so far displayed parent-like qualitiesto the cell group that God has given him to manage & to train. So far, he has done a particularly outstanding job in getting us to work together as a family & as brothers & sisters. He has also implemented a wide variety of entertainment schemes that don't allow room for boredom. He also distributes personal advice & Godly advice that helps us a whole lot. He leads us to paths that then leads to a room full of open doors but does not open the doors for us. He is a guide. He does good deeds & has a kind heart. At times, when love is required, it will be given. Mel is strange, that is good because I dislike normal people. Everyone is different in their own way. He teaches well & means well. I wouldn't trade him for any other. He is a good guy, a God guy, the right guy. God said it, I believe it & that settles it."

Stephen sounds like my P.R.O. Interesting read Stephen. I will think on it. Thanks.

Evaluation from Kimberly

This is Kimberly's position:

"I've known you for less than a year but the impact you've made on my life is greater than many I've known all my life.You're the person I feel quite comfortable expressing myself to (sort of). Being my christian mentor, you've assisted greatly in establishing my spiritual life & I appreciate that very much. You've also enabled me to become a more sociable person (with the help of the group members) and to love my life & myself even more.
However, you can be a BITCH at times & that can really piss me off. I think you are prejudiced at times & has his favourites in the class. Anyway, I can't help but love the group & you. Although it doesn't seem that way, I really appreciate the him & his van."

Oh Kim! Glad to know I influence you spiritually for the better. I have my favourites but they are the ones who go the furthest for me. Only natural. Even God had His special ones in the disciples! I love you more than you know. You are one of my favourites so imagine huh? Why you love my van...? Thanks.

Evaluation from Tanesha

This is Tanesha's input:

"I don't have much to say but I'll just start with DEMERITS. They are not necessary (yes I know it's for discipline) and they are just not cool. Your attitude is just wrong, yes you can be nice but the next minute, your're just raw (YOU CAN BE A PAIN IN THE ASS). I like you Melville and you have a strong sense of leadership but sometimes you just piss us off. I won't lie. I really appreciate you as a person and as a leader. You just have some ways you need to change. Thank you for being that person I can talk to. Keep up the good work. God bless!!!"

Another anti-demerit person. Oh boy. I also see your point with my attitude. Trying to change though. New year. Thanks.

Evaluation from Troy

This is Troy's belief:

"If you were to be given a rating for the year of 2004 it would be 6.5/10. The way in which you deal with some events in the group is unsatisfactory. A typical example is the situation between KIM & JERDINE. Yes you spoke to both of them but after a while it’s like you allowed the situation to play out itself, which was good (to a point), but what if it did not go your way and Kim or Jerdine chose to remain emotionally hurt and because of that one of them decided to backslide, what would you have done then? My advice for the next time something like this happens again (GOD forbid!) is for you to be more vigilant in your approach.
Next, is the social at Adrian’s house which to me ended badly after a promising start. Please if you are going to pull something like that again,do it
before everyone starts to enjoy themselves, because it's not easy to leave a depressing home, start to enjoy yourself and forgetting the problems at home and then someone does something like that; trust me, it makes you feel even worse, and finally, we need more depth when we are discussing the Word of GOD."

Well, Troy, I will address your concerns. First how I handled the Kim/Jerdine affair was the best way to go. Hands-off as much as possible. Trust me. Think about it. How else could I've done it? The social was probably too rigid. when I meant social, I didn't say "party" but you teens have a different language.Oh well. Depth in Bible... Remember it's Bible HIGHLIGHTS not study. We got tuesday nights for study. I just want to point out little things in the Word for you to be curious enough to read for yourself. Just a note of the intention. Thanks.

Evaluation from Akeame

This is Akeame's list:

The Good:

• Good listener
• Caring
• Good teacher (where christianity concerned)
• Loyal to others (especially group members)
• Respectful
• Loves Godly things
• Kind/Helpful
• Honest/Straightforward

The Bad:

• Too strict
• Unruly at times
• Insulting at times
• Untidy (where van is concerned)
• Needs to be more polite
• Difficult to deal with at times
• Impatient

Well Akeame, I am like that. Can't have good without bad. Glad you noticed I'm loyal. I'm fiercely loyal to my kids. That's why I pressure them so hard. Thanks.

Evaluation from Kerron

Kerron's (lengthy) assessment:

"Melville is a very good group leader but has faults that need to be dealt with. I can see growth in the Lord. Lessons that were taught were obviously researched and a lot of time was placed in them. The content of our weekly lessons were most times interesting and informative. His attitude towards the lessons are good (there is evidence seen where he tries to make the information concise yet to the point). As a student in the class I have learnt a lot toward my spiritual growth and some social issues were addressed making the class a complete one (not only do we learn about spiritual aspects of our lives but social as well which I think is very important). Melville normally encourages cleansing before entrance to the meeting which is very good. Weekly memory verses are given and are expected to be memorized but I think the amount should be increased to four each week (some form of method should be implemented so that everyone does this rather than getting a demerit for not doing so). Mel normally encourages us to have our personal devotions outside of the cell group meeting which includes praise and worship, reading of the Bible and other things as u feel led. Melville is obviously chosen by God to lead a group of teenagers and young adults to deal with issues in their lives and attain spiritual growth. To God be the glory for using Melville Lumley. However, there are certain things that need to be addressed if there will be growth in the group. Melville is impatient and can be insulting to some group members. Personal biases towards some group members are evident in his behaviour towards those individual(s). Melville sometimes waste time as he feels. He sometimes is "set in his ways" in that I mean if he has a personal view about anything, that will remain until God himself tells him otherwise. This sometimes affect others learning (i.e. he is not open minded enough or not looking at an "issue" in another light) thus he must be adjustable and adaptable to different situations so as to make every member feel appreciated and loved. Sometimes there are disruptions in the meetings by certain group members making the meeting "lengthier" and sometimes stray from the topic at hand and I believe as group leader some form of action should be done to reduce this. The Lord wants to put this group somewhere therefore it is each group member's responsibility to seek the Lord and find out where the Lord wants us to go. If we don't do this, I think it is unnecessary to do something if u don't know where it is going.

Interesting synopsis Kerron. Insulting? Me? Oh boy. Anyway your points are valid & this christmas I hope to learn to be more flexible. Thanks.

Evaluation from Oneil

Oneil's version:

"Based on my one year span knowing Mel has taught me a lot spiritually. However there are a few loose ends that really need to be let go. For example his clapping style (joke). Overall, he has improved in a Godly manner where attitude is concerned. He also isn't punctual though I kind of know why because of our indiscipline & (sometimes) bad behaviour.
In my conclusion, overall, he is a good teacher where christianity & other social matters are concerned."

I will ALWAYS clap like that! Ha! We'll see how that changes. I am VERY punctual. Especially by Jamaican standards. At least you know why I come late. Thanks.

Evaluation from Hagos

Hagos' summary:

"Well Melville is a good person. What I like about him is that he doesn't waste time in doing good to people. To be more precise, whatever enhances their spiritual growth & their academics. He's a responsible type of person and is understanding at times.
He's a pain in the ass when he doesn't get his own way though. Plus the demerits.
Love Alex."

Rules again? They stay. I don't always get my own way. Am I spoilt? Something to think about. Thanks.

Evaluation from Jerdine

Jerdine's opinion:

"Melville, well there isn't much to say other than (in the past) you seem to not understand most of the time & you seemingly don't take corrections. I think the rules (especially the demerit ones) are total stupidness. Other than that everything is criss. You need to try your very best to be understanding. Think of others befors you think of yourself. Luv yah!!! Till the end of time.

Ok. I need to be more understanding. I'll try. The rules stay!!! So do you girl! Thanks.

Evaluation from Janeze

Janeze's words:

"I love you even though you have a lot of rough edges. You are very straightforward (sometimes too straightforward) and not always understanding. I don't like most of your rules though. They sound ridiculous. I also don't like how you shame people sometimes. But life goes on!"

Well Janeze, the rules remain till the group learns discipline. We can't move forward till we can trust each other to obey. Thanks.

Evaluation from Ronica

This is Ronica's view:

"Melville is still impatient, unemotional, a bit stubborn & a lot of other things I can't remember now. You need to learn to be more understanding & you need to stop being MECHANICAL and stop SAYING YOU'RE MECHANICAL.
Otherwise from that, you are still there for the ones who are there for you. Even though it's both bad & good. But hey, God is still working on you so in time I EXPECT ALL YOUR BAD QUALITIES WILL BE IMPROVED TREMENDOUSLY. I love you & most times I understand your reasons for doing certain things but you need to be less detached. But God is still working in your life. You need to learn to stop planning your life so far ahead. Start living a day at a time. Remember "noone can tell the future" & "tomorrow is promised to noone". Luv ya!"

Well Ronica, I am a planner. It's so hard NOT to plan but I will try to trust God more as planning to far probably shows I don't trust Him enough. I will try. Thanks.

Evaluation from Maurice

This is Maurice's opinion of my leadership:

"Mel is a person who stands for Godliness & not for foolishness. I like that about him. He's fun & white. He's a white man in a black man's country but never-the-less we love him just the same. He's sarcastic, protective & a text addict, but such is life.
Mel is too fussy & argumentative (and sometimes disgusting) but that's life. Apart from that, he's cool. He loves Ting & Nikki. Can't wait for them to get married & have kids. Then I think he'll be more black & less argumentative because she'll teach him his lesson."

Hmmm... I'm disgusting Maurice? Plus who says she will teach me a lesson? Suppose I change her? Anyway just a thought. Thanks.

CCNA

I did my modular tests last night. I got 91% & 83%. I am on a roll. Intending to keep my grades up. Preparing me for the real thing. Wanna become a CCNP by 30. So trying to get focussed on my schoolwork.

Indiscipline in the group

The guys are gelling much better now. But they are still selfish. They only seem concerned with their own problems. As a matter of fact, they only seem to help others when either it's their good friend/interest or as long as it doesn't cause them to sacrifice too much. Sounds like the typical church, huh? The attitudes in the group is still not where I want it to be but they are getting there. I'm going to weed out the ones who I believe are not pulling their weight. I give up on the numbers but I want EVERYONE in the group to b committed. I can deal with immaturity but not indiscipline. God help me please.

Maurice ok

Maurice is at home now. Recovering well. Still unable to visit him yet but secondhand reports are all good. Hope to see him soon. Gathered it wasn't appendicitis after all. I shall investigate...

Evaluation from Adrian

This is Adrian's assessment of my performance so far. Got me thinking.

Pros:
- excellent leadership skills displayed
- amazing job in fostering unity in group
- willing to go beyond what is expected of you by superiors
- it is evident that you are not only interested in the growth of the spiritual lives of group members but all other aspects as well (unlike Glad Tidings which seems to be nowhere at present)
- ability to not distance yourself from the guys as just the group leader while maintaining respect and displaying firmness

Cons:
- you do too much of what is not required which leads to group members losing appreciation for what you do
- you can be a bit more sensitive although i don't mind the way you are now ( hopefully Nikki can mend that soon for the sake of everybody else) All in all i had a great deal of fun during the few months i've been with the group and your style of leadership is probably the main reason (you're just like Farmer Brown). Know that i do pray for you and hope that you will continue to let God guide you in each and every aspect of your being. I'm actually realising that very soon i can say that i genuinely love you and the rest of the group.

Thank u Adrian. It's students like u that i need more of in the group. I'll pray for you also.

This is Jerdine's favourite picture. She actually looks harmless. Looks are deceiving...