Why I think Men are happier (Ana Fernandez)

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such
simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all
yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just
another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a
white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water
park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have
to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work,
more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental-$100.


People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New
shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the
time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know
stuff about tanks. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase .
You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the
slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you,
he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes
are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in
public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything
on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and
neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides
your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes = one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look. You
can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in
25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.