Alone in my spiritual wilderness

I feel so alone,
Nobody around to hear my moan,
I pray to God,
Hoping to get a nod,
But all I hear is my spirit groan.

Hardly any friends to care,
About my struggles I bear,
No family to make me smile,
Honestly, it's been a while,
To open up to church people, I don't dare.

God, I'm not blaming you,
But I don't have a clue,
Why my life now sucks,
Where my destiny SEEMS to be in flux,
And I don't know what to do.

Sex is tempting,
Violence is never-ending,
But still I chose Christ,
Even though sin enticed,
To that decision, I am unyielding.

I wish I had a friend,
Who would stick with me till the end,
But alas that is a dream,
Unfulfilled (or so it seems),
So we will see whom God will send.

My students don't care about me,
My pastor is also behaving unsupportively,
The parents are suspicious,
The church seems ready to fuss,
In this cauldron I must be?

So many make fun of me,
Because I see what they do not (yet) see,
I want a job,
So I won't be tempted to rob,
God when will You help me?

My age group is busy,
With sex & the pursuit of money,
While I'm here trying to be celibate,
That situation is SO delicate,
It's hard being Christian, single & horny.

I look back at my life,
Trials have been rife,
I look forward to my tomorrow,
Hoping I won't have to borrow,
That thought cuts like a knife.

So where will this end?
Will my life ever mend?
Does God really care about me?
Or is the Bible just a story?
I hope not, cause on it I do depend!

God, I do love You,
Despite all the disgustingly evil things I still do,
I know You still love me,
But sometimes, I need to physically see,
Forgive me my doubts,
Including my pouts,
Since I'm still a young man,
Trying to stay the race as long as I can,
May You honour my name,
As the Christian walk is not a game,
Just continue to be around,
And I will continue to work on getting rid of my frown.

'Nuff Said.
- Mel