Thursday, March 17, 2005

Am I still a christian?

Yes, I am. But honestly, some days I don't feel like it. It's so hard to live up to God's Will when you are constantly bombarded with the "lusts of the flesh" and the "lusts of the eyes". I try to serveGod with everything but most times, I slack off. I can't bother. It's so much EASIER to just lay back and sin. But the rewards are with God. Sin's only reward (in the end) is death and I know this. But yet... I hope God understands. Right now, I'm sinning a lot more than normal and I feel like I can't stop. It looks so hopeless. But I remember one of the memory verses I gave my class for last saturday, "what is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal." I try to remember that now but everytime I sin, I feel that it's too late to go back to God.He must be SOOO tired of me returning to Him about the same things everytime. Why doesn't He write me off? Has He written me off? Do I care anyway? Yes I do or else I wouldn't be thinking so much about it. I love God but my body loces sin. Who's gonna win? I know the choice is up to me but I'm too afraid to make it. Honestly, I wish that God would just take over my mind completely and MAKE me not sin. Would be so much easier! Oh well, God doesn't want robots so I won't hold my breath. I'll try to start my devotions again. Later.

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