I failed God again

I did it again. I need to stop losing these battles of my mind. It annoys me so much! Sometimes I wish god would just remove all sinful urges from me AT ONCE. That way, I can't sin & grieve His Spirit, right? So why does He allow me to hurt Him? I love god but I still can't seem to get the motivation to serve Him fully. How do i do this? I'm still afraid to trust Him fully & still prefer to depend on my own mind to solve my problems. Doesn't make sense I know but I am so stubborn in my ways. Did my devotion though (finally). Glad I did. It felt so GOOD! Going to pick up myself now & try again. As Donnie said, "A saint is just a sinner who falls down & gets up..." Later.

Finally! The voting is finished! Awards time now.

Everyone has voted. All categories are dealt with. Going to prepare the trophies now. Need an M.C. for the awards show. Might ask Chris or Gail. Should be fun. Especially the acceptance speeches. Knowing my group, those should be FUNNY. Anyway, later.

Who are my favourites?

Well after getting that out of the way, the next question is who are my favourites, huh? Well let me put it on record. Please note my favourites are based on obvious performance. They are grouped. Here goes...

1. Janeze, Ronica
2. Maurice, Troy, Adrian, Tanesha, Latoya, Akeame
3. Jerdine, Kimberly, Oneil,
4. Hagos, Kerron, Leevander,

The higher the group, the LESS likely they will leave the group. Doesn't mean they will NEVER but it's LESS likely. I won't swear for anyone but the higher groups display more commitment to the group's BELIEFS & CODES. That's what I'm looking for. I hope they all make it but I don't think so. This is just my piece still. Maybe these things change but we'll see. As usual, I'll always be libelled & slandered behind my back but it's par for the course. Getting used to it. Later.

"Do I have favourites? OF COURSE I DO!!!"

There are persistent rumours that I have favourites in the group. Well let me putt hose rumours to rest. YES! Of course! Wouldn't you gravitate to the people who put out more effort despite things going against them? Or to those who do nothing extra but complain & grumble about things not going their way? Honestly now did you really expect me to treat EVERYONE equal? Well i don't & I won't. I EXPOSE everyone to the same information & opportunity. It's up to you to seize hold of them. That's my reasoning and i think it's both sound & biblical. Nuff said. Later.

I love this car. I think it's a swedish guy who makes them. It's HANDMADE!!!! Koenigsegg.

I like these too but I don't intend to spend my money on them. Need to be a good steward. Time will come when I'm rich though (God's willing)

This is the van I plan to buy. I hope I can afford it in the near future. God's willing. I love them. Wonder if God would mind?

Happening all over again?

See Blog entry on July 28, 2004. I hope it won't get to that point again. Oh well. later.

Finally

I started praying again. Was getting out of the habit but I made the effort and it seems to be returning. I miss God's company. It's my fault though. I hope I stay close to Him forever. Later.

Change of Career?

I'm wondering if I should go into business. Do a business degree with a course in IT? Still not certain. What do you think? Comment if u wish. I am still trying to check on the trends in the corporate world. If you know anything, let me know. Thanks.

God is good!

I was driving home in the afternoon when I hit a rock at 110 kph! It shredded my front driver side tyre's sidewall but I was still able to control the vehicle! God must have been there! Thank you, Lord! I changed my first tyre ever! Learning experience. Good thing Nicole nagged me into carrying the jack. Would've been funny without it. New tyre costs about $7,000 but I'm hoping I can find the money. Unexpected expense. We'll see how that goes...

Gail - A friend?

Spent time with Gail. She's ALMOST like me in the sense of our spiritual duties. Like a mirror image of each other. We spent an hour talking about stuff. It was fun. Don't wanna make it a habit though. I am still not comfortable around people. But God knows best. Guess I should start talking to Christopher now too... Later.

Gossiping Part 2

I know that God is One of second chances but why do people always believe that gossipers change? I don't. Never have. Never will. I simply love them and STAY AWAY!!! Wish my students would do the same. Gossipers don't care about the people they discuss. They only care about the story (even if they have to embellish it to make it more fun). Stay clear of them, guys! I thought it would be obvious but I realize that my class is not blessed with long-range planning skills. Not all of them anyway. I'll try to speak to them in class about the necessity of discretion in my class. It hurts though. I try to remember that each of them are coming from imperfect families - some worse than others - but it still annoys me. Oh well. Still trying to weed them (slowly) from my group as they may damage my vision. Later.

Gossiping in my group!

I'm so upset! I can't believe that after all of the things that this class has endured, they still can't keep their mouth shut concerning other people's lives! I'm convinced that this is a human thing that needs to be rooted out of the church! Christians talk to much! And not about God! If someone in my group sins or makes a mistake, why do the others need to tell people about it? Don't they see that it only makes the ENTIRE group look bad? I can't believe that they are that stupid! To this day, I need to be monitoring them to see if they are gossipers? Sheesh! These guys need to wake up! God why don't you clean them up quickly. I honestly wish I was the most ungodly person in the group (maybe I am!). That way, I can be sure that certain principles would be obeyed. Oh well. I'm presently planning damage control. Wish me well later. Can't believe that they can't be trusted with each others secrets at this time. I'm thinking of trimming the group to 6. What u say Lord? or maybe 7-8? Just a thought.

Nicole & Mrs. Morgan in earlier times. Can't wait to see her again.

In Memory of Mrs. Morgan

This day marks the second anniversary of Mrs. Morgan's Death. KNOW you are enjoying heaven. Looking forward to seeing you there. Later.

Awards Nominees

1. Best Student: Hagos, Ronica, Adrian (My pick: Ronica)
2. Best Friend: Oniel, Stephen (My pick: Oniel)
3. Most Spiritual: Troy, Akeame, Janeze (My pick: Janeze)
4. Most Improved: Akeame, Jerdine (My pick: Jerdine)
5. Best Smile: Hagos, Ronica, Tanesha, Jerdine (My pick: Ronica)
6. Weirdest Person: Tanesha, Janeze (My pick: Tanesha)
7. Best Hugs: Maurice, Ronica (My pick: Ronica)
8. Best Massage: Hagos, Ronica (My pick: Ronica)
9. Best Jokes: Hagos, Troy (My pick: Hagos)
10. Most Disciplined: Adrian, Ronica (My pick: Ronica)

Class conflict.

Class was good. We had a good praise & worship, we went through some Bible highlighting, watched a very funny video & had dialogue with each other. Food was great. (Thanks Mrs. Jacobs!). The kids were divided though along gender lines because of immaturity on both sides. I hope this will be dealt with on both sides soon. They love each other but don't trust each other. Doesn't make good group sense. I'll work on that though. Admired the resolution phase. (kudos to Troy & Ronica) Showed discipline. Great improvement.

This is my Confession... (Part 1)

I sinned today. Real bad. Feel a bit guilty (now) and very upset with myself. Trying not to become despondent though. Bad thing is, I enjoyed it very much. so no excuse for me.Hope the punishment is not as I deserve though. Later.

Karene?

My friendship with Karene seems to b improving again. i'll give it a chance. She has been one of my best friends from school days & I don't like losing ANy of those. Old friends are hard to find & harder to lose. Let's hope that we don't argue anymore. Later.

Who are my friends?

I just realized that my best friends (except for Nicole) are my teenagers. Despite their immaturities, selfish ways, annoying behaviour, lack of initiative & many other faults, they are very good people. I actually love them. What have I done? Oh well. Hope I don't regret it.

This is the group's calendar. Like it?

Missed me?

It's been 3 weeks since I last posted. Life has been hectic. Let's (once more) get back up to speed. Keep reading to see what u may have missed

1. Jerdine had a death in the family. She took it very hard. Troy & I went to the funeral. She has cute relatives but some (the females ) seems a bit TOO thick. Oh well country people. The funeral was well attended though so I guess he was well liked.
2. CCNA classes are going well. passed all my exams so far. Lowest score is 72%. Giving thanks to God for allowing me to pass them as I rarely study. Highest grade is 95%. The teacher is cute too. (yes, I am still too shallow). Ity's very far though but I still make the trips. Spanish Town to Stony Hill in 30 minutes? Yes.
3. Adrian still puzzling me. I refuse to believe that he's more decent than me. Something's fishy but I can't prove it. I'll wait till his naughtiness comes out. He's the girls' pet in the group though. Guys, watch out!
4. Ronica & Kimberly fell ill last week with sinusitis & gastro-enteritis respectively. Both required medical treatment but are ok now. Back to their usual selves (is that a good thing?). I'm just glad my babies are ok.
5. Got a new girl named Latoya in my group. Best singer in church. Cute face, great body (matched only by her smile) & HUGE potential. Lawyer in the making. Already arguing with me. Oh well. I love her and she's barely been around 6 weeks. See more of her later.
6. Andrew has a cell group. It's a bit informal now but in time, it will settle down. God will let it be known what he wants soon enough though. He's being helped by his sister, Tanya who can show the finer points of caring to the grils he has. They are starting with only 3 peopel now. Expanding when they are ready. I wish them all the best.
7. I'm almost convinced that Troy & Janeze like each other more than they think. They're ALWAYS getting in each other's way or fighting each other. maybe it's an attraction that they don't know about. Hope they find out how much they care about each other before one (or both) go to hospital in one of their skirmishes.
8. Hagos & Tanesha are another case. I admire them so much. They seem to be more mature than couples twice their age. Hope they keep this up. I actually trust them alone together. Hope they won't let me down. May God bless their friendship & let it grow into something worthwhile.
9. Jerdine is my daughter. I love her very much but she still has to deal with some of her indiscipline. I always imagine Jerdine & I to be like Israel & God. I'm always faithful, she's not. I won't give up on her though. She has the potential to do well for God. Just hope she falls in love with Him first, herself second. I'll be there for her always. Yes, she's teacher's pet.
10. Gail is a potentially very good friend of mine. We barely know each other though. Makes sense? Grace of God. Only He could make me feel so comfortable with someone I barely know.She's sweet, fun, open-minded, spiritually honest, pursuing God & CUTE. Plus she's Carl's wife so she can't be THAT bad. Wonder if she'll survive me. Only time will tell.

This is Carl again. Andrew is also my friend. He has his own cell group now. Wish him all the best.

This is Carl, Gail's husband. He is my mentor & friend. Arguably the most popular man at church. Guess Gail has gotten used to sharing him now.

This is Gail, my new advisor concerning the group. Very cute. I like God's taste in friends for me.

This is Latoya, my latest girl. Expecting big things from her.